Secular Art

To a non-Afghan girl!

3 mn read

Good wishes from Afghanistan to your broken heart.

I know you are sad and so your heart is broken. Even, your sweetheart is in love with someone else. for a girl it can be hard. I understand how it is too hard…

But you know what?
I have not yet felt the sweet pains of love and disloyalty because I have not yet experienced the glorious resurrection that my love has left me for another girl.
You know! I haven’t experienced falling in love yet and I still haven’t felt the warm embrace of my lover.
You know! my lover hasn’t lied me yet and I haven’t seen the betrayal of my love yet.
I have not become such lucky yet to be gathered myself with my love and still I have never dreamed that my love and I are seen together because my mind has not yet become ready for falling in love with a boy. I haven’t fallen in love with any guy yet for the fear that wars will take from myside.

You may be surprised and it maybe not acceptable to you but yes I have not fallen in love yet. You may also find it interesting that you have been in love since the age of sixteen. In contrast, while I got to know bad and good standards of society, I just felt troubles and sadness. In that, my homeland Is Fistula and that’s why my heart is not emptied of the conflicts of the homeland to give place to love in it. For me, the only peaceful moment is in which my countryman smile and have been dressed and feed enough at home in calm.

I do not see love in my dreams. I only see the flag descending from the towers of the city and trampling under the feet of the cruel enemies. I see the soldiers of the homeland who drenched in red blood in one corner of the country, being killed. Its name and status are eroded and its existence is lost.

I am a young girl like you. Same as you, I have the right to love, to have fun and to sleep in my boyfriend arms.
I am a young girl like you. I also hope to travel, work and to move forward.
I am a young girl like you. I also want to dream, and fulfill my dreams.
I also want my morning to start with the fragrance of my love flowers but you know my every morning starts with the sounds of explosions.
I also like to listen to classical music in the heart of the city café in the evening with my boyfriend, but you know that walking around in our city is a sin, making love is a crime and listening to music is a blasphemy.
I also wanted to look for books in the university library with my lover but ah … we don’t have the right to go to university.
You may not believe it but sometimes I wish my lover would have cheated on me, broken my heart, given me pain, I wish I could have enjoyed such sweet pains but we were not born in these sweet pains. We even didn’t deserve to feel such sweet pains.

You know?
We have a ruined country that has deprived us from all its pains and has suffered us by its own pains.
You are so lucky that You are only tormented by the pain of love. it may not last long, but our pain has been going on for decades, we are each in pain, even the birds and animals of our country are not safe, my country’s children become disabled two minutes after birth, my country’s bride becomes a widow on the first day of her wedding and my country’s student is being killing three days before graduation.
You don’t know how hard it is to live as an Afghan, you can’t feel our pain.
I also saw a scene in the middle of the city where a child looks at her father’s blood-stained body.
I also remember the moment when the brothers in front of the university were searching for the remains of their slain sisters. There is still the image in my eyes in which the martyrs’ girls of my homeland were lying.
You may have seen such scenes in movies but I watch such scenes every day.

Do you know what it means to be an Afghan girl?
Living Afghan means you have to be deprived of education and so you have to be deprived of love. it may not be acceptable to you but yes that is the punishment of being Afghan girl and yes it is very tough.

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