#InMemoriumMonday: We mourn ConfusedHeathen

2 mn read

ConfusedHeathen (CH) was an Egyptian assigned female-at-birth trans person. By all accounts, he should be celebrated by the secular community. He founded the r/ExEgypt Subreddit where her felly compatriots gather and discuss the issues.

However, this beautiful soul has departed. He died a few weeks ago. The death was announced on the subreddit itself. At the time of writing, only his family knows the cause of death. No one from the secular community has approached them to find out. Those from their life who are left can only remember them. They remember a person of great kindness and spirit. SUN sat down with some of them to learn more about who he was. Their names have been changed for their protection.

Sameer was CH’s boyfriend for six months. He remembers an “ambitious, driven” person who “never thought he did enough.”

“He always wanted to do more. He wanted to grow the community,” Sameer said. CH was a great lover of history, geography and politics. Sameer got the impression that was with a very intelligent person. “He respected autonomy above all else,” Sameer said. “He believed one had to be able to choose for himself, even if that choice is wrong.”

They initially kept their relationship secret, telling only a few trusted friends. They did, however, tell their mothers. Sameer says his family gave him a hard time but was largely OK. But CH’s family tried to stop them from talking. They were forced to cut many phone calls to protect themselves.

Them holding hands for the first time is Sameer’s favourite memory of CH. He had fantasized about it for a long time. While Sameer acknowledges that their relationship is not perfect, “at that single moment nothing else mattered.”

Michael, an Egyptian former Christian was CH’s friend. They met shortly after r/ExEgypt went live in December 2020. Michael is a moderator in the subreddit. They met twice during the week CH died. Michael does not know how he died, but he knows that he disappeared around 2:49 a.m. on Sept. 18. “I messaged [him] on WhatsApp. I kept asking about [him] on the Discord server. I found out a couple of days later that [he] died.”

Michael describes CH as “honestly the kindest and sweetest person I have ever met.” He would always help others “despite all of the pain and suffering [he] was in.” This included him going out of his way to help members of the r/ExEgypt community who were threatening self-harm.

Michael says he doesn’t think his parents actively abused CH, but definitely were not respectful of his beliefs. When they suspected him of being an atheist, they took him to a sheikh to be brought back into the fold.

This still took a toll on CH’s mental health. “They thought they were helping [him], but they were making [him] worse,” Michael explained. He also “lost someone very dear to him.”

That being said, it is tempting to believe this may have led to his death. It cannot be emphasized enough that we don’t know the cause of ConfusedHeathen’s death. Speculation will not do him any good. All we can do is remember him and keep him in our hearts.

Confused Heathen approached SUN a few months ago, saying he wanted to write for SUN. He posted his own story that you can read here.

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